


Nightmares

by Jojora



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-11 14:40:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7056646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jojora/pseuds/Jojora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver doesn't know how to comfort Connor when Connor wakes up from his nightmares.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmares

Oliver is awake, but he doesn’t move as the mattress creaks and Connor slowly and quietly gets out of bed. He remains still and listens to the soft shuffle of his feet and the creaking of a closing door. Then, once he is sure the door is closed, he rolls onto his back and sighs, bringing a hand up to rub his eyes. 

This was the fourth time this week that Connor had suddenly jerked awake, shaking and agitated, and then went elsewhere in an attempt to not wake Oliver. Sometimes he locks himself in the bathroom, other times he silently gets dressed and leaves the apartment completely. But Oliver always wakes up. He pretends to stay asleep and he never mentions it to Connor in the morning, but he wakes up every single time. It often weighs heavy on Oliver’s mind the next day, but he wants to let Connor talk to him in his own time. 

Connor always tries so hard to hide his vulnerability and to act like everything is fine, but Oliver isn’t blind and he is pretty sure even a blind person could sense how Connor is slowly becoming darker with each passing day. His hair is still perfectly styled and his clothes are still neatly pressed and he still gives that stupid little smirk all the time, but his eyes don't shine the way they used to. His smile doesn’t feel as genuine. His previous cocky and self-assured personality has been replaced by a less genuine mask of confidence. And then there are the nightmares.

They are becoming more and more frequent, and Oliver is losing sleep over them too. He has started to feel exhausted at work, struggling to get through the day. Connor always stays gone for at least an hour, sometimes longer, and Oliver stays awake the entire time worrying about him, so many questions burning at the back of his mind. Then Connor crawls back into bed, and Oliver still isn’t able to fall back asleep right away. He just lies there and watches the man, futilely hoping to find clues by staring at his curled up form. It is incredibly frustrating. 

In the beginning, Oliver wondered if maybe he was doing drugs again. He considered that maybe he sometimes leaves the apartment in the middle of the night to go meet a dealer, and he keeps his stash hidden somewhere in the bathroom. But Oliver had torn the bathroom apart one day while Connor was at work and hadn’t found anything. Then he went even further and tested some of the hair off Connor's hairbrush. Connor was clean. 

Since he knows it isn't drugs, Oliver really wants to give Connor the space to come to him when he’s ready. He knows that Connor likes his privacy. Enjoys his boundaries. It has taken a lot to get Connor to be open to a committed relationship and Oliver is hesitant to dig, not wanting to push too far when Connor has already come so far out of his comfort zone for Oliver. But still, this is _the fourth time this week._

Sighing again, Oliver makes a sudden executive decision. He rolls out of bed and taps a knuckle softly on the bathroom door. “Con?” he asks quietly, a worried tone in his voice. There is no response. He knocks again.

“I’ll be out in a minute,” Connor’s voice calls out. Oliver can tell that Connor is trying to keep his voice steady, but it holds hints of shaking underneath.

Oliver slowly turns the doorknob, grateful to find that it isn’t locked. He pushes the door open and sees Connor sitting on the floor of the bathroom with his back to the wall, where the tub and the wall form a corner. He has his knees bent up and his hands hold his shins and he looks incredibly pale under the bathroom’s fluorescent light. He looks up at Oliver when Oliver opens the door and he opens his mouth with a frown as if he is going to snap at Oliver for invading his privacy, but he doesn’t actually say anything. He just looks away again quickly, averting his gaze like he often does in emotional situations. 

“What’s going on?” Oliver coaxes gently from the door. 

Connor shakes his head slightly, almost imperceptibly, like a silent _please don’t keep pushing this._ Then, “Just a bad dream. I’ll be fine, Ollie. Go back to bed.” 

Oliver hesitates, contemplating. He knows that Connor wants him to just close the door and leave him alone. But Connor looks so far from okay right now. He’s pale and shaking and curled up on the bathroom floor and Oliver is growing incredibly tired of this game they are playing. Yet, after a moment he nods and closes the door, retreating back to their bed to curl up under the covers, not willing to push. 

Eventually Connor emerges again and quietly gets into the other side of the bed with his back towards Oliver. Oliver scoots over and wraps an arm around him, pulling him close and burying his face into the back of Connor’s neck. “I love you, you know. I’m here if you need me,” he mumbles into Connor’s skin. Connor doesn’t respond, just puts his arm over Oliver’s and curls up a little more, placing a kiss where their fingers are intertwined and closing his eyes. Slowly, they both drift back to sleep.


End file.
